Learning to Cope

Hey there y'all...

So as you know I am currently bogged down with end-of-year school work. I've found that I begin to get a bit loopy if I sit in my room doing homework for too long, so I decided to take a break and write a post.

I'm rather bummed right now, because a frost hit our dear seedlings, and a number of them (including most of our tray of chard) have permanently passed away.

This is the most difficult part of the year for me. I grow so attached to my little seedlings... even when I'm not there most of the time, apparently. When someone calls me from home, telling me that more seedlings have died, I get panicky. I go on wild searches on the internet for diagnoses and organic cures. Then I get depressed. I fall into a state of hopelessness, because what can I do, when I'm 2 hours away?

And if there's one thing that I hate doing, it's thinning. I know its going to happen, I plant 2 or 3 seeds in each plug, I don't do anything to avoid it, and then the day comes.... and I just can't. I can't pull up those little babies, who are working so hard to survive! Last year, for our little garden, I got my mom to do it for me. This year, Dan is taking on most of the dirty work. (It is interesting to note that "dirty work" in my mind means plucking little plants, but shoveling manure is perfectly clean).

It's a fact... I am just too attached to plants. As soon as a seed goes in the ground, I become its "mommy". I am crushed when one little guy plops over. Last year, I spent whole lot of energy on a couple of tomato plants that had been deemed the 'runts'. But I couldn't throw them away... so I made them their own little container. I was so proud when they bore fruit! (But it probably wasn't worth it!)

So how do I get over this? I've shoved aside the problem thus far, unrealistically reassuring myself that one day I will be such a good farmer, I will NEVER have to thin, and plants will NEVER die.

...Of course I know this is not possible. Its just a subconscious thing, spawning from my inability to cope with a regular part of nature and of farming. So how DO I cope?

I'm still trying to figure this out.

-Terra

PS. Meanwhile, here's a picture of my little babies!!

PPS. And NH, seriously, please don't snow again... not after we've all (including the plants) gotten used to the nice weather.